The October List – 2021

Loving the beauty of Fall once again, but not the weather, which has felt more like winter this week with temps in the 30s and 40s. Make it stop.

1) October is my birthday month and I’ve always loved birthdays up until my 45th. Now I’m so-so about them. I am grateful to be healthy and alive, of course. Of COURSE. But count me out on embracing aging.

For my birthday, I was craving the pistachio gelato from Shewolf and luckily there was a spot open that evening, so I did get my birthday wish.

2) In case anyone is wondering, I am FORTY NINE and I look not very 49 here because my friend Erin took a lovely photo of me and also I’m a great photo editor. Also, shoutout to Erin, who always takes photos of me and if not for her, I might not exist except for selfies.

3) Unlike last year, Halloween was not canceled this year, so the girls dressed up and went trick-or-treating. Thankfully, it didn’t rain (I can’t remember a Halloween in Grosse Pointe when it hasn’t rained or snowed), so I happily (sort of) walked along with their trick-or-treating crew.

As is NOT customary, I let the girls eat a bunch of candy. I’m not sure why. Okay, I do know why and it’s because I didn’t want to deal with any of it and so I ignored it. And I also indulged in a Twix bar myself. Which does not seem like a big deal, but I REALLY try not to eat candy, so it is a big deal. Also please note that candy is not ice cream or French pastries. If people gave out ice cream or croissants on Halloween, I would be a mess.

4) The 7th grader went as Moana, but sadly wouldn’t let me put ANY makeup on her, not even a touch of eyeliner. The 10-year-old went as Dorothy and was adamant that I curled her hair just right and let me put on as much makeup as I wanted to. She rocked those ruby slippers.

5) I worked on the bookshop a bunch this month. We met with a couple potential cafe vendors and secured one. Learned a lot about coffee and coffee machines, too.

6) Made a few site visits. Sometimes Obi comes along, since it’s walking distance from the house (a great perk!).

7) The exterior brickwork is nearly done. This is part of the the rooftop bar area.

8) Our youngest took a 24-hour trip to Canada to visit with her bestie who moved to Florida (but whose grandparents live in Canada). The whole Covid test-taking part of traveling is so nervewracking to me. Getting to the testing site, waiting in line, the actual test (which we did ourselves in the the car) and then the waiting. UGH. The worst.

It was a huge relief to get the negative results, even though neither of us felt sick. I was nervous about driving her over as well. Downloading the Canada app, waiting as they scrutinized our paperwork. Ay carumba. It was all worth it. She had a blast.

We are hoping to get to Hawaii over Thanksgiving, but again the freaking tests! It’s weeks away and I’m already at peak anxiety levels over it. Send prayers and good energy our way!!

9) I went to an epilepsy fundraiser this month at the most beautiful location. A garden house/greenhouse of sorts (I think officially called the Palm House or something like that?) along Lake St. Clair.

To support, athleisure wear from The Corner Studio was available for purchase, which was perfect because I needed some new gear and everything was so cute. I pretty much live in athleisure wear now AND it’s my birthday month AND it was for a good cause. Done and done.

The spread from Thyme & Honey though, right? I mean, come ON. (I grabbed the photo from her Insta, as you can see). Next level charcuterie board.

10) Fast forward…..it’s now been three days since I started writing The October List and can’t come up with another list item. Not one. I’ve been staring at the screen for so long. I’m burnt out. On what, I don’t know. I’m only working a handful of hours per week (all from home, in my athleisure gear), the kids are normal (no disorders, no special needs, doing well at school), I’m feeling physically well. So what gives?

My girlfriend says it’s the culmination of the universe’s something or other (sorry, I don’t understand it all, yet I’m completely sold), energy, stars, planets, once in X amount of years and so on. Which in layman’s terms means it’s a crazy flipping time for our world right now. So. I’m just going to give myself a break and focus on what I can handle in the moment. Which lately does not equate to much.

I will also say that for the last 12 years, like many, many of you, I have been nonstop, full speed ahead, working, parenting, partnering and dealing with all of life’s curveballs along with it – trauma, panic, grief, etc. I’ve always said that when I go on vacation, after a few days I lean into it and then my body just collapses. Like I’ve never been so tired as I am when I’m on vacation because my body knows it doesn’t have to be ON. And I feel like I’m still building back all the the energy and bandwidth spent on the last decade. And it’s a lot, this building back. I honestly don’t know how I handled it all before. Maybe I handled it all because life was so fast. Go go go, over and over, day after day and I didn’t have time to think about it.

I DON’T KNOW. All I will say is that part of the description of this photo which came from Getty stock, says “brain melting into lines,” which pretty much sums it up.

11) This is how my dog sleeps.

12) Oh, I know what I can tell you. I finished watching “The Serpent” on Neflix. A true crime series about a notorious serial killer of the 1970s (mainly). It was visually intoxicating (strong word, but can’t think of another one) and suspenseful and the characters feel like they’ve been pulled out of a novel vs headlines. Anyway, if you’re into that sort of thing (true crime), I recommend. Image from Rotten Tomatoes.

Speaking of serial killers, I came across an elderly lady and her small dog the other day. I see her in the neighborhood often and told her how impressed I was that she was out there walking her dog a lot. She said to me, “oh, I walk so I don’t turn into a serial killer!” I hear you, lady.

And with that, I bid you a happy November. See you in another month. Or so.

7 thoughts on “The October List – 2021

  1. I am not here to tell you to embrace aging. I get it, I struggle with it, too. But I hope you will find a way to get more comfortable with it, to put it even in some neutral zone. When I get down about it (and it’s usually related to my looks or how my whole body hurts), it really robs me of joy in life. That is all. I want you (and me) to have all the joy. You look gorgeous anyhow.
    xoxo karen (age 52)

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    • Thanks, Karen! Sounds like you do totally get it. Being more comfortable with it vs embracing it is a goal that feels more attainable. And viewing it that way (to remember that negative thoughts can deter us from experiencing joy) is waaaay better than but you look great, or everyone ages or be grateful and all that other crap that, while true, isn’t helpful to my experience personally. So thank you!!!!!!

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