Humor

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Kitchen Remodel – Overheard

DayThreeI can hear everything the workers are saying through the walls and the Visqueen (plastic sheeting. My husband had me go to the hardware store to get some and the first four people I talked to had no idea what I was talking about. Granted, I only learned the term last week, but I don’t work at Ace Hardware. Should I be concerned?).

Moving on, here are some of the things I’ve heard overheard so far:

Grunting.

Groaning.

Spitting. The kind of spitting that starts very deep down, and takes some effort to get out. Where are they spitting?!?! I don’t want to know.

Swearing (although surprisingly not that much).

“Whoa! Whoaaaa! We almost had a waterfall in here!!”

“Wait, you can’t mess that wall up. The wall’s gotta stay.”

“Mom! I heard someone say ‘Ouch’ in the family room!”

“Oooooh-kay, how am I going to do this without putting a hole in the floor?”

ClangClangClang! Thud. “Aaaahh!” Pause. “Well, that’ll make it easier, huh?”

“You and your staff need to come up with a plan by the end of the day to deal with this.”

We did hire the best of the best (or so we’re told). So I try not to pay attention to noises in the other rooms, because I know everything will be taken care of one way or another, most of it without our knowing about it. (Fingers crossed).

 

 

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The September List

photo 2 (800x800)1) I’d forgotten how magical Fall is. I haven’t experienced a true Fall since I lived in Reno and that was almost 20 years ago (!). I can’t stop ooh-ing and aah-ing and taking photos (and I’ll have a bunch more to share soon).

2) Bug of the month: the cicada. A large, invisible (I’ve never seen one, have you?) insect that makes a loud buzzing noise. All day long. Wikipedia says, “Many people around the world regularly eat cicadas.” I can see that.

3) The worst peril of potty training is not your kid rolling around on the floor screaming “I want a diaper!” for 20 minutes. It’s when they finally poop in the potty and you go to empty it and your face gets splashed with toilet water.

4) I didn’t cry on the first day of school as expected. What I did do was giggle as I ate my lunch on the couch and watched Season 2 of Mr. Selfridge.

IMG_8297 (707x800)5) I’ve been wanting to check out J House Juice on Fisher and finally went in. In addition to a full Starbucks menu, they offer smoothies, fresh juices (Lucy and I shared a pineapple, grapefruit and ginger blend) and delicious coconut desserts that are big enough to satisfy your treat craving, but no so big that you wish you hadn’t.

6) The city of Grosse Pointe Farms does not want your old recycle bins. We bought one of their larger bins, so I called to ask if we could give back our small bin (they are currently out of stock, I happen to know).
Me:  Wait, you don’t recycle recycle bins? That’s kind of ironic, don’t you think?
Woman on Phone:  Well, residents don’t want used bins, they want new bins.
Me:  Wow, okay.
Woman on Phone:  They just don’t want to have a used bin, do you know what I mean?
Me:  I would want a used bin, actually.
Woman on Phone:  You could label it “trash” and we’ll come pick it up (Ummm). Or you could use it for something else.
Me:  Uh, okay, we’ll use it, thank you.

IMG_8330 (742x800)7) And the best Asian restaurant in Grosse Pointe is….(drum roll)…Trader Joe’s. Sad, but true. (And yes I’ve been to Bluefin Sushi). Maybe I’ve been deprived for too long, but the other day I whipped up their frozen sukiyaki, added some green onions and rice and I have to say, pretty darn good. Their orange chicken and pot stickers are also not half bad (do I need an intervention?).

8) A couple months ago, I requested a book from the library that was not in the Grosse Pointe library system or the State of Michigan library system. A couple weeks ago, I got an email saying the book was waiting for me at the front desk. Sure, Amazon is faster, but the library is free. Love.

photo 1 (549x800)9) We’ve painted the rest of the house, but now need to settle on a paint color that will tie our future kitchen to the family room. My husband has likened my paint selection process to that of a serial killer (really?).

10) I thought I would have all this free time when school started. I was going to be Martha Stewart on steroids. Baking, cleaning, taking lessons, general do-gooding. In reality, by the time I blink and have my second cup of coffee, it’s time to pick them up. Argh.

11) The day I do not have to make a school lunch, I will have all of you over for a champagne toast and a dip in the hot tub.

photo (735x800)12) Reupholstering a couch is not $600 (which I budgeted for). Or even $800 (my budget cushion). Not even close. So until we can afford it, the bright yellow floral couch and zebra rug will have to find a way to get along (but does it look like they’re @^#%$*  getting along!? The answer is no).

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The July List

My previous list entries were well-received by y’all, so I’ve decided to make it a regular thing. Surely I can learn 12 new things about this town, myself and life every month? I wasn’t sure what to call them. I tried Musings, Discoveries and Observations, What I’ve Learned So Far, etc. They seemed too grandiose. So I’m simply calling it The List. Here we go.

IMG_7712 (800x800)

1) I still heart Detroit.

2) Here, I am Mrs. Martin. I will never get used to the formality. Especially with friend’s kids. My first instinct is to correct them, but instead I giggle nervously (which I’m sure makes a great first impression).

3) I finally found the 2% minority residents. They are getting their smarts on at the Grosse Pointe Park Library. Heck yes.

IMG_6700 (800x549)4) Do not get the onion rings at the Village Grille. Unless you like semi-raw onions covered in corn dog-type batter. Better yet, don’t get anything at the Village Grille.

5) I’ve discovered a way to frequent Morning Glory without having to lower my coffee standards: iced tea. I don’t think I’ve had iced tea since Oklahoma. I’ve forgotten how refreshing it is to sip iced tea on a hot day.

6) Speaking of hot weather, people here don’t realize that San Francisco is not California weather. Stop apologizing for the”mild, wet, etc” Michigan summer. It’s July and I’m not wearing a parka. I’m good.

7) Word gets around. One of my mother-in-law’s friends knew we had put an offer on our house before we even told anyone. Umm….wow. That’s pretty impressive, even for a small town. (Did I say impressive? I meant annoying).

IMG_7611 (800x800)8) Delight Bakery & Cafe has delicious scones. Really, really good. Josef’s was closed a couple weeks ago, which prompted a visit across the street to this small shop. The “cafe” part of the title is a bit misleading, as they don’t serve coffee. If I could grab a cappuccino with my buttery scone, I’d be more inclined to make it a regular stop.

9) Toilet seat covers are non-existent. Even at fancier places. I feel like I’ve been to one nondescript place that did have them (Starbucks?), but that would be the only one I’ve seen. In San Francisco, even the hole in the wall places provided you with bum protection. Glad I’ve been doing my squats.

baseball (800x800)10) My first trip to Tigers Stadium was also the girls’ first baseball game. They may have enjoyed the carousel and peanuts more than the actual game, but watching the little one cheering with the crowd? Presh.

11) Apparently, it’s okay for complete strangers to ask me where I live. As in my address. And if you don’t readily give it up, they will kindly offer their address, as if to say, now it’s your turn. Cases in point:

EXAMPLE ONE:
Trader Joe’s guy (seeing my license): So what made you move out here?
Me: My husband’s from here. Kids.
Trader Joe’s guy: Where are you guys living, here in Grosse Pointe?
Me: Yes.
TJ Guy: Whereabouts?
Me: What?
TJ Guy: What street are you on? We’re over on Charlevoix near Merriweather.

EXAMPLE TWO (Me, on my morning run)
Lady in Car: Hey!
Me: Hi
Lady in Car: Oh, you can keep running. Do you know where Carver street is?
Me: Sorry, I just moved here.
Lady in Car: Oh! Welcome to the neighborhood. What street are you on?
Me: Uhh….
Lady in Car: I’m on Ridgemont. What street are you on?

12) Speaking of street names, how do you pronounce Cadieux? Wrong! It’s CAD-joo. What about Gratiot? Wrong again. GRA-chit. One more try with Vernier? And… wrong. VUR-nur. So much for the French influence.

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Twelve More Things I’ve Learned (about Grosse Pointe).

Lake St. Clair

Lake St. Clair

A few weeks after we moved here, I made a list of twelve things I’ve learned about Grosse Pointe. Now that another two months have gone by, I’ve learned a few more things:

  1. Wow. Your bedspread matches your curtains. In every room. (More on house-hunting in another post.)

  2. The electric oven is eons better than the gas oven. There, I said it.

  3. Everyone I’ve talked to has warned me about the vigilant and prominent police presence. Above all, do NOT speed, they say. Police are everywhere. Okay, done. So why does everyone ride so close to my bumper? Stop tailing me. Where are you even going? I would say that every time I get on the road, someone gets all up on me at least once. Some old guy in a Jaguar actually passed me the other day on a 25 mph road.

  4. I knew produce was going to be sad. Still. My one girlfriend here (also a California transplant) said to me with a shrug of her shoulders, “I hate to say this, but you really just have to…you know, lower your standards.” Now when I buy avocados, I buy at least five at a time, in case the first two I cut open aren’t usable.

benchpark
5. Lazy summer evenings are easily one of my top five most favorite things in life.  Oh how I’ve missed you, Summertime! Contrary to popular belief, San Francisco does not have a true summer. Certain pockets of the city might, but much of the city is covered in fog and cold during the months of June, July and August. Which is why tourist stores display their “I heart San Francisco” sweatshirts at the front of their shops in summer. And why I continue to see Facebook photos of my friends wearing parkas.

6.Kids live here! Sure, kids live in San Francisco, too, but you don’t really see them. It’s hard to explain. In Grosse Pointe, kids are everywhere and they’re made to feel like part of the community. Often kids are unaccompanied or even alone. I’m talking about little kids… five- and six-year olds taking their dog for a walk around the block or riding a bike up and down the street.

7.Running along the lake is just as great as running through Golden Gate Park. Although the dirt paths in the park were a little easier on the knees – yikes.

8.Seriously, stop tailing me already!

9.I may never eat good Chinese food again (unless I’m in Hawaii or San Francisco or London. Or maybe China).

10.Trader Joe’s is the only store that sells organic milk that is not ultra-pasteurized. I’ve looked everywhere. If you don’t know the difference between pasteurized and ultra-pasteurized, you can check out this explanation at Musings of a Housewife.

11.What’s that smell? Oh, it’s just pesticide. You know, a bunch of chemicals that are harmful to people and animals. It is pretty much on every front lawn. sigh

12.When all else fails, go for a bunny walk. This has helped stave off many a meltdown at our house. We haven’t actually seen any bunnies on these walks (although oh my gosh you guys, I saw a little baby bunny in our backyard last week. It was sooooo cute!) I’m sure the huge, black dog has something to do with that. But we have seen many from the car on our bunny drives.

I’m enjoying these lists. I may just make it a regular thing.

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Are Filipinos Asian?

Form

I used to have to choose between Asian and Pacific Islander.

If you’ve been following the blog from the beginning, you might remember the post, Burning Questions, where I ask, “Will I be the only Filipino in town?”

For that post, I looked up some census numbers and cited that (per Wikipedia) as of the 2010 census, there were 1.6% Asians, 0.1% Pacific Islanders and only 1.5% being of two or more races. I didn’t get into detail, but those are only the numbers for Grosse Pointe City, population 5326. (And, if you also read my Welcome post, you’ll know that Grosse Pointe consists of five separate communities. Which are actually cities. Confused yet?). Grosse Pointe Farms, for example, population 9316,  lists 1.3% of their population as Asian, 0% Pacific Islanders and 1% being of two or more races.  Grosse Pointe Park does a little better with 1.8% of Asians (still 0% Pacific Islanders). I could list the other Grosse Pointe percentages, but I think you get the idea.

All these statistics reminded me of the various forms I had to fill out growing up. There was never a box for “Filipino.” Sometimes the form (aka stupid form) would say, “please check only one box.” Okay. I’m half Filipino, half White. Seriously? (And you guys, I even remember forms that asked for “Color”! omg). I’d look at the “White” box and then the “Asian” box and then the “Pacific Islander” box and eventually (and out of frustration) I would just check “White.” This especially bothered me when I started applying for college. “What about me?!?,” I would yell silently at the forms. Last week I got a pleasant surprise while filling out new health insurance applications for the girls. Finally,  someone got a clue; the form listed many ethnicity options, including “Filipino.”

Ask a Filipino

Image Credit: askapinoy.blogspot.com

Still, I wanted to know….Are Filipinos Asian or Pacific Islander? I went online and it’s actually a thing. I found an article that discusses the geography of the Philippines (which would make one lean “Asian”) and the heavy Western influence on the islands (which leans “Pacific Islander”). I found another site (see above graphic) that looks at the question in a more humorous, but still very thorough, way. He also applauds the modernization of “the form.”

The comments sections of both posts are interesting and fun reads in and of themselves, and after reading just a few of them, it’s pretty clear there is no right answer. It appears that “Are Filipinos Asian?” is one of those questions that will always be a question. But at least it’s one I don’t have to worry about answering any more.